Whisper
by xXBlissfulCursesXx
Summary: Olivia looked up at Elliot, holding his blue gaze before murmuring the words which had swirled her mind for hours “Her life was only a whisper of what could’ve been…” Chapter eight posted. EO.
1. Chapter 1

Seriously, I think this might be my best story yet.

Spoilers: Fault, Intoxicated...I think that's all...but not in the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I have tacky chipped black nail polish and my mouse pad has a 'Looney Tunes' character on it - I don't own anything of Dick Wolf's.

For Nettie, just because.

**_- - - - -_**

She had been sitting there for over an hour now. She and Elliot had returned to the precinct almost two hours ago and she hadn't moved from her desk. Her elbows were resting on the hard wood, her hands cupping and framing her face, fingertips meeting at her forehead. Her gaze was fixed on a small knot in the wood; a small dark dot, mocking her in its imperfection. She wanted to reach out and pick at it, scratch it with her nails until it went away. Until it was removed.

She shuddered.

Eliminated from the world forever.

She couldn't though. It was too much effort to just reach out and begin removing the small knot in the wood. Her body was stiff and it took too much of the energy she didn't have. She was drained; emotionally she was drained which left her feeling physically sick.

Olivia let her eyes close and took a deep breath. Her eyes stung and her head was throbbing with the on-coming of a migraine. She couldn't remember blinking at all since she had sat down. She didn't have a clue what was going on around her at the moment. She knew there were people, constantly passing her desk, a few glancing at her before moving on to the task at hand. Other than that though she had no idea what was happening.

She allowed her eyes to open again and go back to staring at the knot.

The concept of time had flown out the window right along with reality. Her world had become a blur in a few short hours and she didn't know how it had happened; how she had let it happen.

Elliot stood back, near the coffee maker and other kitchen supplies. He had stood there as long as she had been sitting and after about twenty minutes his feet had gone numb. He had barely moved a muscle from his crossed arms and concerned frown, leant up against the bench top. Munch had been over twice and given him a look over the top of his sunglasses but said nothing and he could see Cragen stewing in his office out the corner of his eye. Fin hadn't taken his eyes off Elliot unless it was to glance at Olivia and Lake was like a lost puppy. He had no idea what to do. His gaze darted from Olivia to Elliot and then back to Olivia.

Everyone had pretty much given up on paperwork. The idea of it was long gone and although they knew there would be mountains of it tomorrow nobody really cared at that point in time.

Cragen had heard about what had happened and decided it was probably best to get his detectives back into their rhythm before they could dwell on the day's events.

He slowly rose from his chair behind his desk and moved into the squad room, "Lake, Fin, you two head out on the Delaney Case. Mrs. Delaney is at Mercy General. Munch, you head over to Casey and get a warrant for Mr. Delaney's arrest. Elliot, Olivia, my office."

Munch grumbled about having to head over to the ADA's office as Fin and Lake got out as quickly as they could, glad to be out of all the tension.

Elliot and Olivia didn't move. Elliot's eyes were glued to Olivia and although he had heard Cragen he was positive that Olivia hadn't. He had barely seen her blink let alone indicate that the world was still rotating.

"Detectives?" Cragen called impatiently, heading back into his office.

"Coming Cap." Elliot pushed off the bench but didn't take his eyes off Olivia.

He slowly walked past their conjoined desks and paused at his. He eyed Olivia cautiously before noticing the way her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Liv?" Elliot called softly.

Olivia didn't move a muscle. She was in a trance, stuck in a memory that she wished she could bury.

"_Melanie, sweetheart? Look at me. Okay? Just look at me." Olivia pleaded with the young girl._

"_I can't." Melanie sobbed into her knees as her light cotton night dress sagged around her, practically drowning her._

_Melanie was slouched against the wall in her bedroom. The white blood-stained cotton pooling around her, her face buried in her knees, hands dropped at her sides. Her dark hair was a mess, part of it in a dishevelled pony tail, the rest hanging around her face._

_Olivia gingerly took a step forward._

"Olivia?" Elliot bent down so he could see her face properly.

_The sun was streaming through a small gap in the bottom of the curtains, creating a harsh bright white line in contrast to the dark colour the cream carpet had taken on as the shadows danced around the room. Melanie's bed spread was on the floor, streaks of blood where fingerprints had dragged across the fabric marked her bed sheets. Her pillow was some where on the other side of the room. Olivia could see marks all over Melanie. Bruises the same size as a thumb print or four in a row where someone had gripped her hard. Little cuts and scrapes ran up and down her arms and legs, an angry red abrasion screamed at Olivia on her right cheek where a bruise had faintly begun to form beneath it, increasing the swelling slightly._

"_Why not, Honey? I'm here to help you." Olivia spoke softly as the child shook her head defiantly._

_Olivia's gut wrenched at the sight of this poor girl. She was only eleven, she shouldn't have to even know that these things happened in the world let alone experience them herself._

"_It hurts too much," She whispered._

_Melanie was shaking, trembling as her body broke. Olivia just wanted to scoop the girl up but the small voice in the back of her mind was warning her against it, screaming out and trying to restrict herself from just taking one step forward and reaching out._

_Olivia's eyes widened at the admission and her brow creased in worry, "Oh, Honey, I want to help you. It will stop hurting. I promise. If you just let me help you…"_

"_NO!" Melanie screamed as her head shot up from being cradled in her knees._

"_Sweetheart, calm down and just take some deep breaths for me." Olivia nodded, demonstrating._

Elliot walked around to Olivia's desk and squatted down next to her.

"_I can't!" Melanie cried, "I can't, I can't, I can't…"_

"_Yes you can, Honey. Breathe with me okay." Olivia pleaded as she demonstrated deep breathing again as she forced her own tears to keep at bay as she watched the poor girls world shatter around her._

"_No I can't!" Melanie thrust a hand gun forward, shoving right into Olivia's face._

_Olivia quickly stood and stepped back, putting her hands up in a submissive stance, "Calm down Melanie." Olivia spoke slowly._

"_Leave me ALONE!" Melanie yelled as she cocked the gun again…_

"Olivia!" Elliot gently touched her shoulder as he called her name louder.

Olivia screamed, jolting back in her chair and looking around, her eyes wild and full of fear. Her breathing was rapid as she spotted Elliot now hunched on the floor. He quickly pushed himself up so he was squatting by Olivia again and rested his hand on her forearm.

"You're okay." He whispered.

Olivia gulped and fell back against her seat, closing her eyes as she slowed her breathing. She had to calm herself, shove the memory deep down in her heart, making sure she locked it there, never letting it surface so it can suck her in again.

Cragen had run out of his office at the sound of a scream, he quickly noticed the scene in front of him and gave Elliot a questioning look.

Elliot shook his head the slightest bit and closed his eyes briefly before glancing back up at his boss as if to say 'Don't ask'.

Cragen nodded in understanding before gesturing for Elliot and Olivia to come into his office then disappearing inside himself.

"Cragen wants to see us." Elliot stood up, offering his hand to Olivia.

Olivia nodded, sucking in a breath, quickly composing herself. She pushed off her chair and stood, ignoring Elliot's hand and brushing past him to walk into Cragen's office. Elliot followed closely behind and leant against the door frame as Olivia rested against a shelf.

"What is it Cap?" Olivia asked, putting on a confident façade.

"I think that after today you two should take some time off. What happened, it was horrible. Just take the weekend and return on Monday." Cragen said, netting his fingers together behind his head and leaning back.

"It's only Thursday-" Elliot began.

"That won't be necessary." Olivia shook her head, interrupting Elliot.

"And why is that?" Cragen leant forward, dropping his hands.

"If Elliot wants to take it, that's fine, but I don't need time." Olivia stood from her rested position.

"Trust me Olivia, take the time." Cragen said forcefully.

Elliot stood back and watched the stand off, certainly not willing to jump in as well.

"Captain, I'm fine." Olivia protested.

"What was that out there?" Cragen asked, resting back once again, "You screamed."

"Elliot just startled me. So what if I'm on edge?" Olivia shrugged.

"He called your name three times, Olivia." Cragen argued, daring her to challenge him.

"That has nothing to do with it. I was just off in 'la-la-land'. Big deal." Olivia took a small step forward.

"Elliot?" Cragen was asking for his input.

Olivia looked at him with a glare that said 'If you don't back me up on this I'm gonna kick your arse later'.

Elliot did the next best thing. He threw his hands up in the submissive and rocked back on his heels, "Nuh-ah. I'm not getting into this." Elliot shook his head.

Cragen rolled his eyes as Olivia did the same.

"Olivia, after what that girl did-" Cragen sighed only to be interrupted.

"Don't." Olivia dropped her gaze and shook her head.

"Don't what?" Cragen asked, finally glad she wasn't fighting him…sort of.

"Don't say it. Just drop it. If you want me to take the time, I'll take it but let me tell you this," Olivia raised her head and took a step forward before leaning on the desk, "My work is all I have and if I don't catch the bastard who- who-" Olivia was unsure of how to finish the sentence, "If I don't catch this bastard I'm not going to sleep or rest or go to fucking yoga or whatever the fuck else I'm meant to do while I take this time until I do." She held her stance for another moment before pushing off the desk and walking over to the door, pushing past Elliot and storming off to the lockers.

"What the hell happened out there? And Elliot, don't give me some cock and bull." Cragen warned, pointing his finger at Elliot accusingly.

"Whatever you heard is whatever happened." Elliot replied confidently, turning around and leaving to find Olivia.

Cragen shook is head; _of course he'd cover for her._

**_- - - - -_**

So...what do you think so far?

Let me know because I already have the next two or three chapters typed.

Peace out,

Curses...


	2. Chapter 2

Wow. The response has been just wow. Thanks so much!!

Disclaimer: I cleaned my room!! I actually cleaned it...okay, so Sarah cleaned it but if I owned SVU I could get someone else - other than my friend - to clean my room...but I don't so I won't.

For Laura, Aussie Buddy!!

**_- - - - -_**

Elliot walked past the desks and headed for the bathroom first, he hadn't heard the heavy roof door slam shut so he knew she hadn't gone up there. He knocked on the 'Women's' door and called her name softly. He didn't get a response so he ducked his head in. All the stalls were empty as was the main area.

Elliot left the bathroom and headed up the stairs towards the cribs and lockers. He pushed the door to the cribs open and quickly looked around. He doubted he'd find Olivia in there – especially if she was fuming but it was best to check.

He scanned the room. It was dimly lit but even in the subtle lighting he could see enough to tell she wasn't in there. He let the door fall closed and headed for the lockers.

He entered without knocking and strolled down the rows of lockers until he reached his and Olivia's. He found her sitting on the bench that stretched the full line of lockers. She was facing her opened locker in just her pants and bra. She was clutching her shirt in her hands, close to her chest and had that far off look in her eyes again. Elliot called her name but she didn't flinch. After the reaction she gave down in the squadroom he decided just to let her ride this out while he went and told Cragen they'd take the rest of the afternoon but it was indefinite if they would take the long weekend.

She could smell the blood on her shirt and she wanted to be sick.

_She screamed._

_She could feel her hands shaking but refused to acknowledge it. Olivia watched the young girl on the ground, lying in a pool of her own blood. It was sticky, like molasses and the red matched a lipstick she had in her top draw in her bathroom, a rich berry colour. The scent was filling her senses, her head spinning slightly. She stumbled back, clutching her chest as she tried to fight for a breath that didn't strangle her. Elliot grabbed hold of her from behind, gripping her elbows tightly but not leaving any marks. Olivia shook her head and quickly left the room. She couldn't be in there with Melanie like that. She was just a child._

_She made her way out of the apartment, running down the stairs, almost crashing down them twice before regaining her footing and flying down the rest and out into the fresh air out on the street._

_It was too bright outside, too busy, too normal. The world didn't even seem to pause at the tragic event that had just occurred in apartment 4B._

_Olivia began pacing the path outside, sucking the fresh air into her lungs only to feel the sickly stench of blood trickling down her throat, she gagged slightly, looking down and noting the blood spattered across her shirt._

_She leant into the nearest trashcan and threw up all her toast as well as whatever it was she had eaten last night._

_She felt Elliot come up behind her and quickly stood, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. She turned to face him and noted his sombre appearance._

"_CSU is on their way." Elliot murmured quietly._

_Olivia nodded, not really able to speak._

"_You okay?" Elliot asked caringly._

_NO!!_

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just get this over with." Olivia mumbled._

"Liv?" Elliot said softly.

He watched her come out of her little day dream, slightly confused at how Elliot had gotten there.

Olivia just looked up at him, still clutching her shirt, not having moved from her original position. Her mind was sluggish and her brain seemed to have stopped thinking all together.

Elliot squatted down in front of her and took hold of her hands, gently pulling them away from her chest and began prying her fingers away from the light fabric of her shirt.

He could feel her hands trembling slightly as she looked at him with wide eyes, never breaking their locked gaze. He took the shirt from her before handing her the spare one she kept in her locker. He quickly got up and faced away from her, allowing her to get some privacy as she dressed.

Olivia stood gingerly, the world finally coming back into focus after the small exchange she had just experienced with Elliot. She pulled the blouse on before beginning to try and do up the buttons. Her fingers fumbled with a few before she was finally done. She closed her locker door before turning back to Elliot.

Elliot felt Olivia's presence and turned around to face her.

"Umm…can I have my shirt please?" She asked quietly.

"Oh, yeah sure." Elliot gave her a quick smile as he handed back her shirt.

Olivia went to take it, pausing momentarily, deciding whether it was a good or bad idea. Feeling the need to not give Elliot anymore reasons to fear that she was completely broken she quickly snatched the shirt up. It was still warm from being hugged against her body and it made her visibly shudder, ignoring this, she turned and headed for the trashcan at the end of the row of lockers and threw it in there.

"What did Cragen say?" Olivia asked, trying to get back a feeling of normalcy.

"He said to take the rest of the day to decide on what we're doing this weekend." Elliot shrugged, leaning up against a locker.

"I don't need time off-" Olivia began to protest.

"Olivia?" Elliot raised an eyebrow, only brining up the mention of her now two episodes with a glance

"Fine. We'll take the rest of the day." Olivia huffed, "Do you want to go and get a late lunch?"

"Yeah, sure." Elliot smiled softly.

They both left the locker room and headed for their regular lunch diner.

**- - - - - -**

The waitress placed a hamburger and fries in front of Elliot and a salad in front of Olivia after bringing out their coffees. Olivia picked at a few of the lettuce leaves but didn't really eat anything. She sat mainly stirring her coffee. She had already added four sugars and normally she'd refrain from having one. She hadn't even taken a sip yet and Elliot was beginning to worry.

"Eat something, Liv. You'll feel better." Elliot smiled sadly.

He knew he'd be acting the same if he had been in that room at the same time as she had.

Olivia didn't glance up. She just shook her head from her slumped position in the seat opposite him in their slightly confined booth. She had her elbow planted on the table, her head resting against her flat palm. She was staring at her coffee mug, watching the liquid spin. It was making her queasy but at this point she really didn't care.

"You haven't eaten all day, At least drink something." Olivia felt a tear slip and roll down her cheek before dropping onto the table in front of her.

She looked up, not even bothering to conceal the source of the salty moisture, "Just drop it, El." She warned in a low voice that wasn't even threatening in the least.

She dropped her head back to her hand and resumed stirring her coffee. Elliot could see her eyes glazing over again and knew she was slipping into one of her 'daydreams' again. He couldn't even imagine what must be troubling that beautiful mind of hers but he was determined not to let it happen again.

"Hey Liv?" Elliot asked quietly.

When she didn't respond he reached out and stopped her hand from stirring, now she looked up at him.

"Talk to me." Elliot's eyes were pleading with her.

"I-" She was going to say _'I can't'_ but that was what Melanie had said, "Don't Elliot. Not now."

Elliot nodded in understanding, "We don't have to talk about _that _let's just talk about something."

Olivia shook her head again, unsure of what they'd talk about and whether she'd prefer the silence.

"Do you want to come back to my apartment after this or would you like to just head back to yours?" Elliot asked.

"I think I'll just head back to my place." Olivia replied, her voice void of any emotion.

Elliot nodded, "Okay."

After another five minutes of watching Olivia closely Elliot got up and paid for the check before he and Olivia left the diner and slipped into Elliot's car. As soon as Olivia slid into the warmth of Elliot's sedan her exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks.

She took a deep breath and yawned before resting back in the seat.

Elliot didn't comment, instead her put the key in the ignition and pulled out of their parking space.

Elliot drove through the streets of Manhattan, occasionally glancing at Olivia to see her head rested against the cold window, staring lifelessly at the paths and buildings running along side the streets. After another couple of minutes he looked over to see her sound asleep. He smiled softly to himself before looking back to the road and continuing to weave through the New York traffic.

When Elliot pulled up at Olivia's apartment building he turned to face Olivia. Her hand was rested between the glass of the window and her cheek now and she was definitely asleep.

"Liv, you're home." Elliot murmured.

Olivia shifted a bit but other than that she didn't make a sound.

"Olivia, wake up." Elliot said a bit louder.

He touched her shoulder gently but even that didn't wake her.

Elliot decided against carrying her up to her apartment because she'd kick his arse for it, instead opting to drive to his place and hoping she'd be awake once they arrived and she could just crash there for the night.

He put the car back into gear before pulling away from the curb and heading for his apartment.

**_- - - - -_**

Well, I don't think anyone needs any encouragement to review!!

You're all totally fabulous!!

Love,

Curses...


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the reviews guys!! It means alot.

Disclaimer: I have a fat cat and no EO - I don't own anything of Mr Wolf's.

For...Nettie...again..coz I feel like it...hell, the whole story can be for Nettie...except chapter two because that's for Laura.

**_- - - - -_**

By the time Elliot had reached his apartment it was about four in the afternoon and traffic was already beginning to peak. He pulled into a spot he found by chance, just out the front of his building. After a moment he killed the ignition before turning to Olivia.

She was still asleep after the half hour drive, Elliot smiled to himself. He was surprised that she hadn't shot up after some nightmare but was definitely glad.

"Liv?" Elliot called quietly once again.

Olivia murmured something resembling 'I'm fine' before shifting in her seat and letting her soft snoring begin again.

Elliot chuckled.

He quickly unclipped his belt before pulling the keys out and slipping them into his pocket. He opened his door and walked around to Olivia's side. He gently eased the door open and waited for Olivia to shift away from it before pulling it open fully. He bent over and ducked into the car so he was hovering over Olivia. He unclipped her seat belt and let it slip back up into its holder.

"'Livia?" Eliot called softly.

"Nmmm…What?" Olivia mumbled, still not opening her eyes.

"We're at my place. I decided to let you sleep," Elliot smiled, "...and you didn't wake up at yours so I drove to mine and you can crash here tonight. Okay?"

"Uh-huh." Olivia mumbled shifting towards the driver's side.

Elliot shook his head, "You're still asleep aren't you?" He muttered.

Olivia didn't respond.

Elliot cupped her face in both hands and turned her towards him, "C'mon Olivia, wake up."

Olivia blinked her eyes open and looked up at Elliot with a sleep infused gaze, "Huh?"

"Come on, you can crash inside." Elliot smiled, backing out of the car so Olivia could get out.

"Mmm…" Olivia mumbled, her eyes fluttering shut.

"Great." Elliot muttered, "So she's only semi-conscious."

Elliot took hold of her hands and pulled her out of the car, resting one of her arms over his shoulder and holding her waist as her head rested against him.

"Where're we going, El?" Olivia mumbled.

Elliot bumped the car door closed and reached into his pocket, pressing the lock button on his keys. The indicators blinked and the car made a 'Bloop bloop' sound, indicating it was now locked.

"You're going to bed." Elliot replied to Olivia's question.

"Mkay." Olivia sighed.

Olivia's slight awareness allowed her to walk, more like stumble, with Elliot's guidance as they made their way into Elliot's apartment building. They slowly trudged up the stairs until they reached the third floor and walked down the hall until they reached '3C'.

Elliot unlocked the door and pushed it open, leading Olivia inside before kicking the door closed behind him. He led Olivia to the couch and let her lie down before going back to the door and locking it.

He dumped his keys, gun and holster on the kitchen bench before trudging to his bedroom and grabbing the comforter off his bed. He came back to the living room and gently threw the quilt over Olivia, making sure she was completely tucked in.

He went into the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the fridge, removing the lid, taking a sip then walking back into the living room and taking a seat in the arm rest adjacent to the couch. He looked at Olivia sleeping peacefully and smiled to himself.

He wasn't sure when they'd reached this point in their partnership…friendship…relationship- whatever you want to call it but it felt like they had been like this forever. It was complex to anyone else but them. They had an amazing bond, never physical though. The question plagued Elliot's mind as well as everyone else's. He didn't mean sex, just a physical thing. They comforted each other just by standing close. Only on two occasions had they even come close to hugging: Once when Fin got shot and the other time was when he had been knocked into the window, she had cradled him close to her as they waited for the ambulance, him barely aware of what was going on around him, only able to feel her and smell her perfume.

Then there was one time where their bond went well and truly beyond anything they had ever experienced. After the car accident with his now Ex-wife. He had been so worried about his child, about the mother of his children that he had brushed past her after just a glance. When he exited the hospital room it suddenly occurred to him that he could have lost her forever and that scared the hell out of him. He took hold of her and held her; he didn't hug her, he held her.

And she held him.

And for one moment it was just them standing in the busy corridor of the hospital and time had no authority in their small moment.

_You're okay._

_Yeah._

He had finally breathed when he saw her, finally inhaled in relief that his world hadn't come crashing down around him and that his guardian angel was still on earth.

Elliot took another sip of his beer, holding the neck and letting momentum take hold as he gently swirled it in a circle. He drank the rest of his beer quietly as he watched Olivia sleeping before leaving it on the coffee table and picking up the book he had left there the other night.

**- - - - - -**

_Flash._

_The flash of the gun._

_The smoke._

_And the bang._

_It was loud. Olivia had heard it hundreds of times before but not like this. It made her sick._

_She screamed and stumbled back, looking at Melanie's lifeless body. She held her breath for a moment before letting it go shakily as Elliot took hold of her elbows._

_The blood, it was everywhere. She could feel little speckles drying on her face as she struggled to feel anything else but the way her head was pounding and her stomach was churning._

_She waned to cry out again as her eyes took in the way Melanie had become limp yet her voice was ringing in her ears, yelling at her._

_Her breath was coming in sharp shallow breaths and Elliot was trying to guide her to the door but her feet had become led and she couldn't move. Her whole body had become led. She was stiff and wanted to crumble to the floor with the emotional weight of everything. Glimpses of all the horrible things she'd ever seen, ever experienced as a child, as an adult, everything was haunting her mind at one time. Swirling around and around, taunting her as it protruded from the deepest dark recesses of her memory._

_Her mind was out of control and all the voices were echoing in her head; Her mother, Gitano, Melanie. Their voices were taunting her._

_You're mine. If I can't have you know one can!_

_I'm gonna kill him!! Do you hear me? He's gonna die!_

_God, you two are a couple of screw ups…_

_It's alright…_

_I'm sorry…_

_I can't!_

_Memory after memory, conjuring up in her mind, killing her bit by bit, piece by piece…_

_The shot._

_Ringing in her ears._

_Driving her to the edge._

_It was black, all black, spinning darkness. Swaying and tilting, never ending motion making her sick._

"_Stop!" She screamed._

"_Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop…" She was crying as she slumped to the floor in the black, quiet, alone, "Stop…stop…stop…"_

"Liv, Liv calm down. Wake up." Elliot whispered quietly, gently stroking her hair.

Olivia jumped and sharply inhaled.

"Shh, shh, shh…you're okay." Elliot soothed, letting his hand sweep her hair out of her face before resuming his previous actions, "You're okay."

Olivia held his serene gaze, already knowing she must be in his apartment. She could feel the tears on her cheeks that she must have cried during her nightmare. She could feel herself trembling and her breath shaking every time she inhaled, exhaling softly.

Olivia sat up slowly, moving the comforter so it was across her lap. She glanced around the room before focusing back on Elliot's beautiful blue eyes. She could feel the tears welling up in her own eyes but refused to let them fall.

Elliot reached up and gently cupped her face with his right hand, brushing his thumb across her cheek. Olivia let her eyes close at the much needed human contact. Elliot dropped his hand and moved onto the couch, sitting on her left side.

Olivia's head fell to his shoulder and she sniffled slightly.

Elliot pulled the comforter over his lap as well, lifting his arm and draping it across Olivia's shoulders, pulling her to rest against his chest, "Want to tell me about it?" He asked quietly.

Olivia shook her head.

Elliot leant back against the couch, getting more comfortable for both him and Olivia. He pulled the blanket up higher so it fully covered Olivia and most of him. His hand gently stroked Olivia's arm as she breathed lightly against his chest.

She sighed quietly, just letting the moment intoxicate her, "It was happening all over again. Everything. Melanie was there and she was so close…" Olivia whispered, "I was so close…I could've- I could've done something but I didn't. And then Gitano and my mother…it was all just drilling into me and I was alone and-" Olivia sucked in a breath, avoiding the tears which were gently slipping down her cheek of their own accord as she maintained her voice, "I should have let her shoot me. There was only one round…" She breathed the last bit.

"No, no, no…Honey…" Elliot sighed, "You did what you could. You tried Liv. You tried and she was lost. You can't find someone who doesn't want to be found." Elliot's arm continued to caress her arm gently, "You didn't know that there was only one bullet. You couldn't have. You didn't know she was going to do that." Elliot whispered just as quietly.

"Exactly, I didn't know." Olivia whispered despondently, blinking back any more threatening tears before they spilled onto Elliot's shirt.

"You're okay…" Elliot replied; his finger's lacing in her hair one again.

He played with her soft strands, enjoying the silence and the feel of her warm breath dancing across his chest and through the thin fabric of his work shirt. Gently, her breaths came even and soft as she began to slip into a deep sleep once again. Elliot followed suit, letting his hand drop to her waist, fingers resting on her hip.

**_- - - - -_**

Don't kill me. I repeat: DO NOT KILL ME!!

I;'m going down the coast for a couple of days but as soon as I get back I'll update... promise.

Depending on the amount of reviews I get for this chapter I'll upate again in the morning.

Before I leave...

Love

Curses...


	4. Chapter 4

Loving the reviews. They're awesome.

This will be the last chapter I post until thursday; possibly wednesday.

Disclaimer: My cat doesn't know the meaning of personal space and so I was awake until 5am...which is the time I'm sure Dick Wolf gets up - I don't get up that early so I'm pretty sure I don't own anything that he does.

**_- - - - -_**

Olivia's eyes snapped open, shocked to only see black. She soon adjusted and noted the small crack of light under Elliot's front door. She concluded that it must be night because eventually the shadows became more accentuated with the light from the streets below. Olivia shifted slightly from the odd angle she and Elliot had ended up at. If it wasn't for the armrest that Elliot was half hanging off she would be lying on top of him.

She shuffled out of his grasp and lifted the comforter, slipping out sideways and almost tripping over the corner of the couch. She needed some space and wished she could call a cab so she could go home. She refrained though, knowing Elliot would be at her door within two minutes of her arriving home.

Instead she headed for the refrigerator. Since she hadn't eaten at the diner her stomach was growling but that could also count as nausea. She really didn't feel like anything but if she was going to toss her cookies she may as well have something to toss. She pulled the door open and cringed inwardly at the slight groan it made which seemed to echo throughout the darkened apartment.

She poked through the contents, little of which looked edible. She found some Chinese from god knows when as well as a few limp vegies and a bit of what looked like yoghurt. She figured he hadn't been shopping since the kids had been over. That must've been about three weeks ago.

Deciding against the contents of the fridge, she turned to the cupboards. She raided the one near the fridge first; surprised she could read the labels of things in the dim light. The cupboard contained some stale crackers, some peanut butter to go on the stale crackers, a can of baked beans as well as a can of corn, a can of salmon and three cans of tuna. Olivia closed the cupboard, really not in the mood for fish.

She went through three more cupboards, one having mugs and glasses, the other had bowls as well as plates and salad dishes. The third cupboard had alcohol in it and although it was tempting, Olivia reluctantly closed the cupboard door.

She was about to give up on food when she realised she hadn't checked the freezer compartment of the fridge. She creaked the door open again and began rustling freezer bags and quietly trying to avoid banging containers that had some sort of soup which had been frozen solid in them.

Finally she came across something that she was pretty sure wouldn't give her food poisoning. She pulled the carton out to examine the label. It was some sort of brand of 'Rich Double Choc Fudge Ice-cream'. Satisfied with her find, she closed the freezer door and set about finding a spoon.

Several open drawers later and she found her utensil. She pulled the lid off and admired the fact that the ice-cream had yet to be touched by anyone else.

She ran the spoon across the smooth surface and let the ice-cream curl. She wasn't quite interested in eating it yet and messing had sufficed her hunger for now. She ran the spoon around the rim before scooping up her little frozen chocolate shaving and slipping the spoon into her mouth.

The ice-cream was good but it just didn't feel…right. She didn't know. She left the kitchen and went in search of something warmer to put on, ice-cream tub in hand, spoon secured in mouth. She went to the hall closet to find one of Elliot's jumpers. The NYPD one looked a bit daggy but there was a thick leather jacket which looked appealing. She undid the zipper and pulled it off the coat hanger with one hand. She held it by the collar, cocking her head to the side as if it would give her a better view.

Olivia shrugged. She slipped one arm into the jacket before swapping the ice-cream carton to the other hand and sliding that arm in too. The jacket drowned her but it was comfortable. The sleeves were way to long but she didn't care.

She padded back to the couch but didn't feel like going to sleep or anything so instead she set the ice-cream and spoon on the coffee table and raided Elliot's DVD collection for a movie that looked appealing.

No such luck.

The majority were movies that the kids would have enjoyed a couple of years ago and all Elliot's ones were explosion and machine gun orientated. She settled on 'The Lion King', never having seen it herself.

She put the DVD into the player and turned the TV on. Olivia grabbed the two remotes and went and sat on the couch, noting Elliot had shifted substantially and now took up the majority of the couch.

She opted to sit at the same end as his feet because had she fallen asleep, they could have woken up in very awkward positions if she sat with his head resting in her lap. Olivia lifted the comforter and pushed Elliot's legs to the edge of the couch before settling her self between the back of the couch and Elliot's calves.

She quickly grabbed the ice-cream and hit 'play' on the remote.

- - - - -

About an hour later, Elliot stirred groggily and tried to move.

"Liv, what are you doing??" he asked, midway through a yawn.

"Huh?" Olivia briefly glanced away from the screen before looking back, "Watching 'The Lion King'."

"Okay. Do you want to get off me?" Elliot asked, trying to sit up.

"No, I'm good." Olivia gave him a quick smile before looking back the screen.

Elliot grinned, that was the first time she had smiled all day- "What time is it?"

"I dunno? You tell me." Olivia shrugged, putting a mouthful of ice-cream in her mouth.

Elliot finally managed to sit up and quickly hooked his arms under Olivia's legs and supported her back as he lifted her off his own legs before moving them and lowering her once again.

Olivia shrieked at the sudden action and laughed as Elliot shuffled around awkwardly.

He fixed the comforter over the both of them before moving closer to Olivia and stealing the ice-cream away from her.

"Hey!?" She grinned, reaching out to grab the container, "That's my ice-cream; I found it fair and square!"

"Yeah, but that's my jacket." Elliot replied, also snatching the spoon.

"Nup, I found that too. It's mine as well," Olivia replied, her gaze now focused on the double choc fudge ice-cream instead of Timone and Pumba.

"Well, I found you so does that mean _you're _mine?" Elliot grinned, pulling the ice-cream out of Olivia's reach once again as she stretched across him for it.

That was it – he was done with this game because if she was going to do that she had an unfair advantage.

"No, I'm not _yours_!" Olivia grinned, still reaching across his lap and swatting out at the ice-cream.

Her voice tempted him to continue, even though they seemed to have gotten themselves into a compromising position., "But you're _my_ partner and _my _best friend. Why not my Livvy too??" Elliot laughed, already knowing he was playing with fire by calling her his as well as 'Livvy'.

She gave up on the ice-cream. She wasn't interested any more. What Elliot said kind of hit her in the side, wounded her a bit and for once she hadn't seen it coming.

She moved out of where she had ended up pretty much in his lap and leant against the armrest on the right of her with her legs curled up beneath her. She ran a hand through her hair before resting her elbow on the couch and sitting with her head against her palm.

"What's wrong Liv? God, I'm sorry." Elliot apologized quickly, knowing he must have done something to upset her but not quite knowing what.

Olivia gave a small smile but shook her head, "Don't worry."

"I'm worrying, Liv. What just happened?" Elliot asked, shifting closer to her again.

"Just…" Olivia trailed off, shaking her head, unable to quite ascertain what had made her recoil.

"What?" Elliot asked quietly.

"What you said, it just…" Olivia expelled a long breath, shaking her head before rubbing her eye.

The fatigue had hit again and all she wanted to do was be wrapped in Elliot's arms so she could sleep peacefully and not worry about the hundreds of horrible memories floating around her mind – certainly not the most recent one.

She'd never tell him that.

"Come here." Elliot sighed, sensing her energy levels had dropped.

Olivia looked at him confused and frowned, her eyebrows furrowing.

"For once in your life stop being so damn independent. Just stop and breathe, okay? You don't need to be strong for everyone all the time." Elliot reached for her left hand and Olivia let him take it but wasn't going to have him pulling her towards him.

Maybe.

Olivia shook her head, sucking her top lip into her mouth and closing her eyes briefly before locking gazes with him again, "But I do," she murmured, begging the tears to just stay at bay and not overflow because she knew she wouldn't be able to stop.

"Why? What this girl did- You haven't even shed a tear. You keep going off into these little trances and- God, Liv." Elliot shook his own head, breaking the gaze and dropping it to his lap.

Olivia was wounded. She wanted to tell him her heart had shattered that morning; that she couldn't cry because she didn't think she'd ever stop. She wanted to tell him that her 'little trances' are nightmares that she can't fight her way out of because they feel so real. She wants to tell him that the small hours they had spent asleep on the couch was the best sleep she had ever have because she had her knight in shining armour and it was safe to sleep.

She. Felt. Safe.

With him and only him.

She didn't tell him though. Instead she shook her head again and just let him pull her to him. He lifted the comforter and shifted back so he was lying down and moved so she could lie in front of him. He dropped the comforter back down on top of them and let it warm them relatively quickly. Elliot went to slip his arm around her waist, instead finding the leather jacket so instead he slid his hand under the waist band which didn't cling to her in the slightest and held her close that way.

Olivia had her head rested on the arm rest where as Elliot had chosen to stay semi upright and was holding himself higher than her with his elbow on the arm rest. She was tense and Elliot could feel it in her back pressed up against his chest. He moved his arm back to her hip, letting his fingers graze across her bare stomach where her blouse had been pulled from her pants and hitched, coming to rest at her waist. He slowly began to draw lazy circles on her hip, his rough thumb making small patterns on her skin.

He felt her tense against him but after a moment or two she didn't have any strength in her any more. She didn't have enough effort to stay rigid. Instead she just let go of the façade and sighed.

She let her eyes flutter closed after a few minutes, Elliot's ministrations gently lulling her to sleep. He moved from her hip, dragging his hand up and under the heavy leather jacket to massage her back softly, just letting her supple skin be imprinted by his fingers.

"You're my partner, Liv. I'll always have your back." Elliot murmured, watching her face, gentle light of the TV flickering and dancing across her features, looking for any sign that she had heard him.

She let out a shaky breath, long and slow as a few tears trickly, running across her nose and dripping onto the sofa.

"You're okay," He whispered pressing his lips to her cheek gently before pulling away and bringing his hand out from the jacket and caressing her cheek softly with his thumb.

The words made a few more tears escape as she twisted a bit on the couch, now looking up at him with dark brown eyes. They were like liquid chocolate and they made Elliot's heart melt with the sadness they contained. They held each others gaze, reading each other like a book, knowing that they both held the same kind of pain but unsure of whether their story was going to have a happy ending.

Elliot moved from having his arm propped up to resting along the arm rest, leaning over Olivia and letting the other one meet it adjacent, creating a kind of box.

Their chests were almost touching and both could feel their hearts pounding. Elliot ducked his head slightly, his lips only about and inch from hers

"You're okay." He whispered, hovering above her with a promise of a kiss dancing across his lips, a promise of something more.

**_- - - - -_**

Dont kill me.

Love,

Curses.


	5. Chapter 5

The reviews are fabulous guys!! Keep them coming.

I had an awesome time down the coast so here is chapter 5.

Disclaimer: Now I have sunburn and chipped nail polish but still no SVU.

**_- - - - -_**

Elliot hovered a moment more, watching Olivia's eyes for any indication that this was the wrong thing to do before dropping his lips to hers as they both closed their eyes, enjoying the sweet kiss. It offered comfort to both of them; both knowing their stories were like a book with no ending and no beginning because it was just them and whatever happened they would stick it out, offer help and just be there.

Olivia's lips parted slightly, letting the kiss become more relaxed as they both tried to rationalise what they were feeling. The feeling was intoxicating, coursing through them as they tried to maintain some idea of brain function.

Elliot's fingers began to tangle through her Olivia's caramel strands, gently sifting through her hair. He slowly dragged his lips away, softly unsticking from hers.

Olivia slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him, haze infused. He held her gaze, his eyes as heavy as hers, both darker than midnight but somehow creating pools of depth in which they could just be free enough to seek each others desires…if only for a moment.

They stayed like that for a few moments before each realised what they could see, what they could read. Olivia's eyes flickered between a black midnight and a dark whiskey before settling on the whiskey as Elliot's fixed back to their cerulean blue.

Elliot shuffled further down on the couch and rested his head on the arm rest. His eyes crashed with Olivia's once again as she turned to face him.

He gently reached up and ran his fingertips through her hair, "You're not okay, are you?" He whispered quietly.

Olivia opened and closed her mouth a few times; no words making it passed her lips. Instead, she resorted to head moments. She shook her head 'no' as she closed her eyes and willed the tears away, bitting her bottom lip.

When she opened her eyes she tried to avoid his gaze altogether but some how her eyes were already fixed on his blue and she couldn't even attempt to drag herself away. She tried again for words but they just weren't forth coming.

Elliot dropped his arm to her waist and pulled her closer to him. He was surprised she had admitted she wasn't coping to say the least. When she buried her head against crook of his neck he was even more shocked. He could feel her hot tears trickling down across his skin as he listened for any verbal sound of the emotion running down her cheeks and dampening his shirt but there was none.

Elliot ran his hand up and down her back, gently rubbing it in comfort as his other hand, which was resting along the arm of the couch, played with her hair.

- - - - -

Olivia groggily opened her eyes and shifted under the comforter. She rolled from facing the back of the unknown couch to look out into the lounge room. Quickly registering that she was in fact in Elliot's apartment, she now had to work out where Elliot was.

That proved not to be difficult at all as she soon heard him in the kitchen. She was in Elliot's apartment and it was morning, a Friday morning in fact.

Shit.

She quickly scrambled out from under the covers and stumbled off the couch before padding to the kitchen.

"What time is it?" Olivia asked, her voice thick with sleep and she rubbed her eyes.

"7:30." Elliot smiled, looking up from making coffee.

"What!?" Olivia's eyes widened, "Shit, shit, shit, I need to have a shower and get dressed and- fuck! I can't even change at the precinct because I'm wearing my only shirt!"

"Olivia, calm down." Elliot spoke slowly, "The coffees are to go. We can leave now, okay?"

"Right, okay. Let's go." Olivia quickly scooped up her belongings and slipped on her shoes and then she and Elliot were out the door.

- - - - -

Olivia sipped her cup of coffee as her leg bounced nervously, starring out at the buildings blurring past her window.

"Olivia, last night I-" Elliot began only to be cut off by Olivia.

"Elliot. Don't. Just don't say anything." Olivia's words were short and she prevented further by turning on the radio with some song which was way too boppy for this time of morning.

_Don't even talk about the consequence_

_Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me_

_Oh come on!_ _This isn't even funny._ She figured that Munch might finally be right about the radio being a conspiracy because Elliot's car must be bugged.

_Cause you're the only one who's on my mind_

_I'll never ever let you leave me_

_I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye_

She listened to the speedy lyrics, wishing she could turn the damn thing off but knowing that if she did it left opportunity for talking and that was something she really didn't feel like doing. Between the knot in her stomach and the throbbing he head seemed to have taken on full time she couldn't cope with the added weight of the conversation that was sure to ensue if silence took hold.

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

Elliot was listening to the lyrics with interest and the way they captured their situation was astounding. He couldn't believe the song wasn't titled 'The Chronicles of Elliot and Olivia and their crappy situation – crappy because it's so complicated and they also kissed and now can't speak about said kiss'.

He thought it was appropriate.

_I'll see you through the loneliness of one more more more_

_Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right_

_'Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around_

_To answer all the questions left behind_

This was ridiculous. She couldn't even look at Elliot as the radio played. The desperate urge to shove her foot into the panel was becoming stronger and that much harder to resist. She continued to look out at the buildings, the greys brown, comforting her with familiarity.

_And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today_

_You've still got me to hold you up up_

_And I will never let you down_

_**LALALALALALALALALALALA!!**_ She wanted to shove her hands over her ears and screaming it at the top of her lungs until the song ended. Yeah, like she was going to do that. Instead, she let her foot bounce, seemingly in time with the music as she worried about what would happen with the case today.

- - - - -

She had showered, dressed and done her make up in record time. Elliot couldn't believe it when she was back down, out of her apartment and in the car by 8:05. She took 20 minutes. He was impressed. When he was married to Kathy she normally took about an hour. He knew she'd be quick but not that quick, at least half an hour maybe.

They now sat opposite each other at their respective desks, awaiting Cragen's rant about how they shouldn't be here and how they needed time off. Olivia wasn't looking forward to it.

They had also endured questioning looks from Munch and Fin, both eyeing them from across the room. Elliot and Olivia had only glanced up a few times…that they knew of. Olivia would look up when she was sure Eliot was typing and concentrating on his DD-5 and she would stuffy his posture, make that he had enough confidence this morning to go toe-to-toe with Cragen if they had to.

Elliot would look up and watch the top of Olivia's knee peek up as she bounced nervously, only when she was distracted though, of course.

Olivia was getting agitated with the waiting so she decided that getting some orange juice from the fridge would be a good idea. She quickly stood and crossed the room, feeling three pairs of eyes on her as she did so. She creaked the door open before pulling out the 375ml bottle and turning around. Everyone averted their eyes quickly and let her walk back to her desk without so much as a glance.

After about five minutes the whole bottle of juice was gone and Olivia was sitting completely bored at her desk. The orange juice was interesting for the duration of it's time in the bottle but once she had swallowed it and it was gently seeping down her throat, the interest was gone.

Olivia sighed loudly just as Cragen walked out of his office. She quickly mentally prepared herself for the onslaught of arguments.

Cragen stood at the bored and looked at the detectives.

"Melanie Fisher, eleven years old. Raped by her father then committed suicide with his gun." Cragen announced to the group as he pinned a picture up onto the glass pane.

Olivia's eyes widened at his bluntness and she could feel her milky coffee curdling with the orange juice.

"Her father is still on the run so we need to find out where he is ASAP." Cragen pinned up a picture of Austin Fisher, Melanie's father.

"What about her mother?" Munch asked.

"Mother died in a car accident three years ago. Her name was Jessica." Cragen turned to face the group again.

She was not going to be sick; she was not going to be sick. Olivia was rocking slightly as her stomach began to cramp violently at the little food she had eaten in the last nearly 48 hours as well as the churning coffee and orange juice.

She pushed out of her chair and sat on the edge of her desk, crossing her leg over the other, straight out in front of her.

"Surveillance at the Fisher's has showed no sign of Austin at all since we were there yesterday. So far there's been no credit card activity and he hasn't contacted his parents or any other relatives that we know of." Cragen was pacing in front of the desks now.

Olivia almost gagged. She was struggling to the contents in her stomach down. She was seeing Melanie's blood all over the walls again, surrounding Melanie as well as all over her own shirt.

She gagged again, jolting her eyes open.

A violent cramp ripped through her body and her arms were immediately clutching her waist as she bent forward, her feet uncrossing and steadying her. She groaned slightly as she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to pass.

"God, Liv. Are you okay?" Elliot was immediately at her side with his hand on her back, eyes wide and brow furrowed.

"Yeah, yeah…" She was saying the words but at the same time her head was shaking 'no', "I'm- Oh god," She felt another cramp ripping her insides as her anxiety tore at her, gagging once again.

_I'm not gonna be sick, I'm not gonna be sick, I'm not gonna be sick…_

She repeated the mantra over and over as she rocked slightly, still bent over and still clutching her middle. Munch, Fin and Cragen all watched in silence as keeled over in pain. They weren't sure what was wrong but she looked like she was in some serious pain.

"Liv, stand up," Elliot reached t help her as Olivia shook her head, "Yes, Liv. C'mon, you look like you're going to be sick and we should really go to the bathroom if that's gonna happen," He murmured quietly.

Olivia didn't reply, instead she pushed off the desk and went to stand. She was half bent over, her stomach muscles contracting painfully. Elliot slipped her arm over his shoulder and helped her walk towards the bathroom.

They were almost there when another cramp ripped through her body, stronger than the last few. Olivia bolted for the bathroom, pushing the door marked 'Ladies' open and disappearing quickly. Elliot jogged after her and quickly knocked on the door. When he got no response he pushed the door open as well.

He could hear Olivia gagging and vomiting in one of the cubicles and quickly worked out t was the end one. Trust her to go into the furthest one away.

He walked over to the sink and quickly dampened some paper towel and made his way to Olivia. She sounded done but she was leaning against the cold tiles on the wall. Elliot held a bit of the paper towel out to her. Olivia was about to take it when she felt another wave of nausea. She twisted so she was hanging over the bowl again but only gagged a bit, spitting up some bile.

She pushed back to leaning on the wall again and reached up for the paper towel. Elliot handed her a piece and let her wipe her mouth before handing her the other bit so she could wipe her face. He put his hand out for her to tale but she rejected it and instead used the wall for support.

She walked to the sinks reasonably steady but when she ducked her head to rinse her mouth, she wobbled a bit. Eliot steadied her, holding her elbows once again, making another quick flash back to course through her mind. She shuddered and stood again, fixing her hair in the mirror.

"What was that all about?" Elliot asked quietly.

"I think it was the mix of coffee and orange juice." Olivia sighed, brushing her hand over her forehead.

She turned away from the mirror and plastered on a fake smile for Elliot, "I'm fine. Let's go," Olivia brushed past Elliot and headed for the door.

"That's not what you said last night." Elliot turned from facing the sinks to Olivia's retreating form.

Olivia's face fell, the smile dropping right from her lips, "Don't Elliot. Just leave it, okay?" She asked, turning to face Elliot again.

Elliot decided to do what she asked, only because the bathroom echoed and if they were going to get into an argument about the events of the previous night he'd rather do it somewhere more sound proof, "You should probably eat something. You haven't eaten anything except that ice-cream last night."

"Don't even mention food or I'll be back over there. I'll be fine." Elliot smiled a slight closed lip smile before quickly exiting the bathroom with Elliot close behind.

"Are you okay now Olivia?" Cragen asked as she settled herself back at her desk.

"Yeah, I think it was just the Chinese I ate last night. Wasn't what I usually got." Olivia attached yet another fake smile to her lips before looking down at the file on her desk.

"Olivia, go home." Cragen sighed making Olivia's blood boil.

Eliot saw the warning signs and quickly sprung into action, "What if she just goes to the cribs for a couple of hours. Just sleep off the food poisoning or whatever." Elliot suggested.

Olivia still glared at him but was hoping Cragen would considerate.

Cragen 'ummed' and 'ahhed' for a moment before deciding a less pissed off Olivia he could keep an eye on was better than a severely pissed off Olivia who would be left to stew in her apartment.

"Fine, go to the cribs," Olivia opened her mouth but Cragen cut her off, "Yes, I'll let you know if we catch anything."

"This is ridiculous! I'm not incompetent! It's just a little food poisoning!!" Olivia huffed

"Just a little food poisoning!? That's what they all say." Munch mumbled.

"Oh, shut up Munch!" Olivia stormed passed him and headed up there's stairs and to the cribs where it was clearly heard when she slammed the door full force.

"That went better than expected." Lake shrugged, sitting back in his chair.

**_- - - - -_**

Okay, so people are starting to think I got the idea from Signature - this is not the case. I just thought I should point that out.

So, we're all clear on what's going on now?

Cool.

Okay, review my pretties!!

Love,

Curses.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey all, the reviews are fab and thanks to everyone who's alerted - it would be great to hear from you all too.

So, I forgot to mention that while I was down the coast I found this $10 necklace - which I brought - it was a love heart with 'BLISS' engraved on it.

I thought it was pretty cool.

Disclaimer: I am so in need to money coz I really need to buy season 3 and up now...I think that's all I'll ever own coz I'm certainy not gonna have enough for the real thing.

**_- - - - -_**

Olivia paced the full length of the cribs; she had done so for the past 5 minutes. Yeah right, sure she was going to sleep. How did Cragen expect her to rest when she had just blown up in the squad room?

She continued to walk the lines of cots and bunk beds, keeping her eye on the time and glancing up at the clock every seventeen seconds or so. The dimly lit room was beginning to aggravate her and all she wanted to do was lash out at somebody.

- - - - -

Elliot tapped his index finger on the edge of his desk, nervously glancing up at the cribs every so often. Cragen was aware of this as he strolled around the squad room. He walked up to Elliot's desk and perched on the edge of it, planting his feet steadily on the ground about shoulder width apart.

"What did Olivia say to you?" He asked quietly, also looking up at the cribs.

"When?" Elliot looked to the older man and furrowed his brow.

"In the bathroom. What happened?" Cragen turned to Elliot and eyed him suspiciously.

"She didn't say anything to me. She said she was fine." Elliot shrugged and turned back to the computer and began typing once again.

"Well, I don't believe you or her but I know I'm not going to get anything out of you," Cragen sighed, "But, it was obviously something or there's something you know because I can't work out whether you've spent more time on that report or looking up at the cribs."

Elliot paused for a moment trying to collect his thoughts, "She just- I mean, well, umm-" Elliot stumbled trying to work out how much to tell Cragen, "We had dinner last night but she didn't end up eating all that much. I think she was probably sick from the coffee and orange juice she had this morning."

"Are you sure it wasn't the case?" Cragen raised his eyes brows slightly in question.

"I'm not a mind reader." Elliot shrugged, nervously glancing at the cribs again.

"Go and talk to her and try and find out what's going on. If she can't handle this case I'll pull her from the investigation." Cragen told Elliot sternly.

"Cap, that'll kill her. If she doesn't collar this bastard herself she's just, I dunno." Elliot sighed.

"Go and talk to her, Elliot." Cragen pushed off the desk, patting the other mans shoulder before walking away.

Elliot glanced at his captain retreating into his office before pushing his chair out from his desk. He stood and slowly made his way to the stairs, trudging up them dejectedly before walking towards the door of the cribs. He didn't knock, instead opting to just push it open quietly.

Olivia was still pacing the room, mumbling to herself, brow creased in thought. She turned and spotted Elliot standing in the door way and stopped passing immediately.

"What, what is it? Do we already have a lead!?" Olivia's eyes held hope that they had finally found the scum bag even though they had only been looking for ten minutes.

Elliot shook his head and Olivia's posture sagged, "Oh, okay. Why are you up here then? For all you knew I could have been sleeping." Olivia said, resuming her pacing.

"But I know you better than that, Liv." Elliot murmured.

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks. She looked up from twisting her hands to gaze at Elliot. Some how the little light in the room only managed to catch his blazing blue eyes. Her own eyes danced between his before she gained equilibrium once again and turned back around, short of where she had previously walked to before turning to pace some more.

Elliot took this as an invitation to follow suit and he let the door fall closed before heading for a cot at the back. He sat down on the edge and waited for Olivia to join him; instead she stopped pacing and just stood against the wall opposite him.

"What do you want?" Olivia sighed in frustration.

"Papa bear sent me to find out what's going on." Elliot smiled humourlessly.

"Oh." Olivia deadpanned, switching the foot she was leaning her weight on.

"So, care to elaborate on that any more?" Elliot sighed, leaning back a bit.

Olivia pushed off the wall and slowly made her way over to Elliot before dropping onto the cot next to him, "I told you I'm fine."

"Yeah and I asked if you weren't okay last night and you said no." Elliot reasoned, turning slightly so he could face her better.

"I didn't say 'no' exactly." Olivia argued.

"That's right, but that was only because you couldn't form words." Elliot through her actions back in her face and she was embarrassed by them to say the least.

"I can't believe you would bring that up! Oh my god, I just, I can't believe you Elliot," Okay, Olivia was mortified, "I was emotional! Is that okay by you!? I watched an eleven year old girl who had been molested and raped by her own father for so long, commit suicide, and so excuse me if I wasn't able to form coherent sentences!" Olivia felt tears stinging her eyes but after the stint Elliot just pulled she wasn't about to let him see her cry again, "I can't help it if I feel responsible for not stopping her! You weren't in that room! You weren't even there when she pulled that fucking trigger and ended her life!! She was just a baby!" Olivia was now standing in front of Elliot, yelling at him as the scrutinized tears began to blur her vision but still hadn't fallen.

Elliot stood as well, "Don't you think it makes me feel just as sick, Olivia? Don't you think I want to catch this guy just as bad!? At least I can hold it together!" Elliot began to raise his voice "You don't even have kids!!"

Silence.

The room fell deathly quite as the final words dropped from Elliot's mouth.

Olivia let out a short breath as if she had been winded, punched in the gut full force. The verbal hit was so hard that it felt real.

"You bastard." Olivia whispered with such venom that Elliot almost feared that she'd bite him, almost, "You fucking bastard! HOW DARE YOU!!" Olivia screamed, yelled, she had just received the biggest insult Elliot had ever dished out her way and it hurt, it hurt so fucking much.

Elliot had out done himself, he had officially been titled 'biggest prick of the free world'. He was stunned at his words. He didn't even register what he had said until he had seen the unmistakeable look of heart break in Olivia's eyes as she yelled at him.

She snapped, "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!! We're meant to be friends you son of a bitch!!" She swung her right arm, missing Elliot's jaw but knocking the air out of his chest, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT MEAN'T TO MEAN!? Because I don't have kids I can't understand the pain!? Because I DON'T HAVE KIDS I can't possibly know how much it hurts to see an eleven year old girl lying on the ground with half her face blown off!?" Olivia was screaming and pounding Elliot like no tomorrow.

All her technique had been lost in her emotion but the force was enough to surely leave bruises.

"Fuck you, Elliot. FUCK YOU! You weren't there when she looked at me with those dark brown eyes and told me she couldn't take the pain any more, that she couldn't handle it, that it hurt too much." Olivia was crying hard as she tried with all her heart just to keep hitting and hitting Elliot until he hurt as much as she did, "You son of a bitch! You didn't see her when she looked at me with those beautiful eyes and whispered 'sorry' before pressing the gun to her head and- and-" Olivia's insides constricted violently as she fought for control, dropping her arms from hitting Elliot, instead she held them close to her chest, "Why did she pull the trigger, El?" Olivia cried, her body shaking with all the effort to keep everything bottled up.

Elliot couldn't believe he had caused her so much pain, so much anguish. He couldn't believe he was the one who had made her break, made her fall so hard that she was standing in front of him, trying with all her strength not to shatter completely.

Elliot pulled her towards him, grabbing hold of her upper arms and pulling her flush against him and wrapping his own arms around her, holding her as close as she could get and feeling her arms clutching him to her almost instantly.

"God, I'm so sorry, 'Livia." Elliot whispered, his mouth close to the base of her neck, his head burying into her hair, "I'm so, so sorry! I am so, so sorry."

Olivia cried hard, she cried for the anguish that Melanie must have felt, the humiliation, the desperate need to be forgiven. She cried for the way Elliot had insulted her and even though he had been so cruel, the fact that he was just as sorry if not more so, the fact she believed him, that she trusted him without a doubt. She cried for herself and her pain, her anguish and her humiliation and the desperate need she felt to be forgiven because she couldn't stop Melanie from pulling that trigger. She cried because she could feel the heart beat of the man she loved moving at the exact rhythm of hers and she couldn't tell him because she was afraid. She couldn't tell him that their hearts beat to the same drum because she was too afraid even though she knew that life was too short and she knew it all too well.

- - - - -

The squad room was silent; waiting for what they were sure to come but neither Elliot nor Olivia ever came storming down the stairs. If everyone hadn't been so positive that their weren't any missing murder weapons from the lock up they would have ran up there a good five minutes ago but the yelling had ceased completely.

Cragen walked out of his office to see why all the commotion had stopped and found that the only noise in the room were fax machines, photo copiers and printers all smearing ink onto paper. He took another look around and noticed that all eyes were on the cribs he briskly began walking towards the stairs.

"Where are you going Cap? Lake asked timidly, surprising both Fin and Munch by doing so.

"I'm going to see what the fuck Benson and Stabler are up to." Cragen informed him sharply before turning back to the stairs.

"No!" Both Fin and Munch had begun at the same time, each looking at each other with furrowed brows, "You can't do that.' Fin added.

"And why not, Detective?" Cragen raised his eyebrows.

"Ummm…well because, they um-" Fin was never that great at lying on his feet and thankfully Munch stepped in.

"Honestly?" He asked.

"Of course." Cragen replied, mildly amuse as to what might have occurred in the ten minutes since he had left the room.

"Off the record?" Lake asked cautiously, continuing on from Munch.

"Okay…" Cragen agreed slowly.

"We don't know what's going up there and being Elliot and Olivia it could range from murder to sitting in silence to…well, I'm sure you can come up with the possibilities on your own but if you walk in there and see anything slightly non-partner-relationship-stuff you're going to have to report it to IAB., "Lake reasoned, "Isn't it a much better idea to run with the philosophy of 'Don't see it, doesn't count'?"

"Where does that come under? The same category as 'Finders' keepers; losers' weepers.'?" Munch snorted.

Both Lake and Fin shot him dirty looks.

Cragen concealed his smirk as he watched his detectives, descending the stairs as he did, "You three, my office."

"Dad's not happy guys!" Munch called.

Fin and Lake grinned as they all trudged to the office.

Cragen walked in behind them and pulled the door closed before walking around his desk, dropping into his chair and pulling out some 'Twislers'.

"You wanted to see us, Cap?" Lake furrowed his brow.

"I don't care what Elliot and Olivia are doing as long as they work out what's going on and how Olivia is dealing with this case. But, I do need to keep up appearances and at least look like I'm pulling rank and kicking your arses for the stunt you three just pulled out there." Cragen chewed his twisler thoughtfully.

All three detectives shared a look before turning back to their captain, "Can we go now?" Fin asked.

"Not yet, give it a couple more minutes." Cragen shook his head before thrusting the container of lollies forwards, "Twisler?"

- - - - -

Neither of them had moved. Elliot's shirt was soaked in the one spot where Olivia had cried for nearly ten minutes now and although there was occasionally a sniffle she was pretty much silent, even as the tears continued to flow and her breathing hadn't quite settled.

Elliot, on the other hand, hadn't stopped. He continued to murmur his apologies and had even said she was beautiful twice. He stroked her hair gently, letting his fingers lace with it loosely before pulling away and dragging them through again. Olivia had managed to calm herself enough that she felt able to talk but she didn't to wreck the moment. She was still clutching him and he still held her tightly and she didn't want it to end.

After a couple more minutes of silence she finally dared to move; looking up at him with tear stained cheeks and beautiful brown eyes. Her mouth finally gained the courage she needed when Elliot gave her a small smile, his blue eyes gleaming in the dim light.

"I need you," She whispered.

**_- - - - -_**

Okay, so that was a little cruel leaving you all there buut I think that was a pretty good chapter.

Drop me a review!!

Love,

Curses...


	7. Chapter 7

Wow.

That's all I have to say about the reviews.

Sorry it took me so long to get this up but school started and I got caught up in making a youtube video - EO of course.

Anyway, here is the long anticipated chapter seven.

Nettie, I changed my mind...I went with your choice.

Read, rejoyce, review...

**_- - - - -_**

Olivia tilted her head up and captured Elliot's lips with a soft kiss, barely touching her lips to his. Elliot leant forward slightly, pressing his lips firmly against hers. Neither of them dared to deepen the kiss, not sure how far they'd go. They exchanged light kisses, gently touching the others lips, occasionally letting their tongues swipe out softly.

Elliot slowly broke away and gave Olivia a small smile.

Olivia sighed and leant heavily against him, "I needed that."

Elliot chuckled slightly and felt Olivia smile against his chest, "Nothing like a bit of human contact, Liv."

Olivia sighed and inhaled his scent, willing herself to relax her fingers from crinkling his shirt, "Nothing like a bit of human contact, El."

Elliot held Olivia tighter, taking a deep breath and in haling the smell of her shampoo. It was kind of fruity and creamy, like tangerine and soap. Whatever it was it she be banned or made illegal or something because he was addicted.

"What is this, El? What are we doing?" Olivia sighed, dropping her arms.

"Well-" Elliot began only to be interrupted when the door opened, revealing Munch in all his cynical glory.

"We got a hit." Munch raised his eye brows as Olivia and Elliot subtly broke apart.

"Already?" Olivia asked, instantly feeling her muscles tighten and become jumpy as the adrenaline pumped through her.

Elliot felt Olivia tense, only standing mere centimetres away, "What have you got?"

"The stupid prick is using his GPS system in the car. We're tracking it as we speak; the destination is some sort of empty lot on the out skirts of the city." Munch explained, continuing to eye Elliot and Olivia, "Cap wants you two to head out there."

"Let's go then," Olivia was already at the door as Elliot hurried to catch up and follow her down the stairs with Munch trailing behind, mouthing that Fin and Lake both owed him $10.

Olivia grabbed her coat off the back of her chair as Elliot didn't the same and they headed for the squad car.

- - - - - -

"Turn right and you should come up to the lot on your left." Lake relayed the directions to Olivia over the phone as Olivia told them to Elliot.

"Thanks, we'll be in touch." Olivia flipped her phone closed and faced ahead once again, "There's the lot and what I'm guessing is Austin's car."

"Yeah, probably." Elliot grumbled.

The lot looked like it was going to be built on at some point. It was a completely flat square, a little bit of rubble scattered around as well as a couple of old beams and there seemed to be a small building, maybe five square meters in the far corner but other than that it was completely clear, bar the 8 foot wire fence surrounding it.

"How the fuck do we get in?" Elliot deadpanned as he noticed the gate on the other side, each part heavily locked together. There was no chance that he or Olivia was going to fit through there let alone work out away to get around.

Great.

Elliot pulled to a stop at the curb and Olivia was out instantly. She left her coat on her seat because it had begun to heat up; she was wearing long sleeves anyway. Elliot threw his coat in the back of the car and followed Olivia across to the fence.

"Obviously, he must be in that…building… over there but there's no window on this side." Olivia reasoned, wondering along the fence line, sizing it up.

"Why is that so important-" Elliot's words died on his lips as Olivia stuck her foot into the wire, proceeding to reach up and use two of the segments as hand holds, "Liv, we're scaling this?"

"Yeah, why not? Once we get in there he has no means of escape. This baby is our back up." Olivia replied, tugging on the wire; signalling that it was their 'back up'.

"Uh-huh." Elliot nodded, still taking hold of the fence and beginning to climb.

Olivia was at the top and swung her leg over before swing over the other. She moved down a little before dropping and landing on her feet, stumbling slightly.

"You okay?" Elliot asked, swinging his own leg over.

"Of course." Olivia gave him a small smile before stepping back and allowing Elliot to drop.

"How do you want to do this?" Elliot asked quietly, pulling his gun from its holster as Olivia did the same.

"You wanna go first or can I?" Olivia asked, just as quietly as they jogged towards the building.

Close up it was very derelict and had a few holes in the brick walls. The tin roof was rusted at the edges to the point that there were speckles of sunlight on the ground where it protruded out.

"Yeah, sure. If you want to." Elliot replied dropping back slightly as Olivia went around the ride side of the building, Elliot to the left.

There was a grimy window on the right side of the building, the bottom corner was smashed and a few cracks had made it look slightly like a spiders' web. Olivia ducked and kept close to the wall as she passed by it silently. She stepped as quietly as possible, her feet crunching the slightest bit on little bits of gravel that were caught between her shoe and the concrete.

She rounded the corner and saw Elliot doing the same, both heading to the door in sync. They pressed their backs to the wool and edged along slowly. Olivia could feel the rough surface catching her sweater slightly as she brushed past but chose to ignore it.

They were a meter each side of the door and Elliot was about to reach for the handle to swing it open for Olivia when a huge sound caught their attention.

Before they had time to react the door swung open and Austin stepped out firing his hand gun wildly in an attempt to gain the upper hand.

Olivia and Elliot backed up quickly, now on opposite sides of the building as Austin began running to towards his car, firing backwards every couple of seconds.

Both Elliot and Olivia returned fire but Austin was zig-zagging so the chances of actually hitting him were minimal. Austin was shooting like a maniac as he pulled the gate open. Olivia noticed him pulling what looked like a mobile phone or a garage opener from his top pocket and instantly recognized what was about to happen.

"ELLIOT! RUN!!" She screamed over the noise as she did exactly that.

Olivia turned and bolted, relief flooding her when she saw Elliot come out from the other side of the building simultaneously to her. Now, knowing he was there she ran faster, not daring to look back, knowing the building was going to explode in seconds-

The heat was intense and the noise was deafening as they were thrown forward by a couple of meters, landing in awkward positions and immediately covering their heads as rubble hurtled threw the air, bits of brick and concrete landing around them, the finer bits showering over them.

Elliot heard the tin roof landing somewhere to his left and was thankful neither of them had been hit with it. He picked himself up off the ground and went to help Olivia.

Olivia was already standing, rubbing her head where it had connected with the ground. She began slowly jogging towards the fence with Elliot in tow, wondering how the hell she was even moving that fast after an explosion.

"What are you doing?" He asked in confusion, once she began scaling the fence.

"Hurry up, we've gotta get out of here now. We don't know what else he might have hooked up to the explosives.

She had a good point.

They each climbed the fence, dropping from the other side in attempt to speed things up but soon realising that landing so heavily when your muscles are in shock hurts like a bitch. Elliot was the first to regain his sense of balance and pain management and began heading to the car, Olivia not very far behind at all.

She dragged herself to the passenger side and pulled the door open, dropping onto the seat and slamming the door shut as Elliot slid in next to her, "Drive to the end of the block and I'll radio Cragen, the bomb squad and the fire department."

Elliot did as he was told as they tried to get their breath back, each panting heavily. Olivia radioed as she said she would as Elliot pulled up to the curb haphazardly. He killed the engine and fell forward onto the steering wheel, still recovering from the explosion. Olivia rested back against the seat, dropping the portable into her lap and sighing loudly as she closed her eyes.

Elliot turned to face her, still leaning on the steering wheel, "Well, that was fun- What happened to your arm?" He quickly added, his face full of concern as he sat up stiffly.

Olivia furrowed her brow, lifting her right arm to see blood had seeped into her shirt from just below her shoulder all the way to her elbow, "What the f- Ow shit!" She winced as she pulled at the fabric.

"You've been shot!" Elliot raised his eye brows in shock.

"No I haven there's no-" Olivia hissed as she tugged at her sweater, "Stupid son of a bitch," She muttered.

She quickly bit the bullet, so to speak, and moved her right arm, pulling her sweater from her left. Once that task was complete she pulled her sweater over her head with her left hand before slowly dragging it down her right arm.

"Fuck, Liv. How did you not feel that?" Elliot asked, completely amazed that she had been grazed by a bullet and not noticed.

"I dunno, I was kind of distracted by the explosion and everything." Olivia muttered sarcastically as she pushed down on the edge of her wound, making more blood than necessary seep down her arm.

"You're gonna need stitches." Elliot said, matter-of-factly.

"We're not going to the hospital-" Olivia began to argue before somebody tapped on the glass, startling them both.

Olivia swung her door open and turned to Cragen, quickly covering her arm by holding her sweater to it.

"I called the paramedics because I knew you two hadn't." Cragen scolded, eyeing both of them as he did so, "Elliot, you shouldn't be driving and Olivia, you need to get what ever the hell you did to your arm checked as well as just the general once over," He added.

"We don't need to go to-" Olivia began, rolling her eyes.

"Olivia, you two were just under fire and were caught in an explosion- I don't want to hear it. You're going to the hospital. Munch and Fin can take the sedan back." Cragen replied, his voice full of authority.

Olivia grumbled under her breath as she stepped out of the car, Elliot doing the same as the both headed towards the open doors of the ambulance, passing Munch, Fin and Lake on the way, "You guys good?" Fin asked.

"I've been better," Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Well obviously." Lake sighed, not catching Olivia's sarcasm.

"We gotta go guys." Elliot butted in before Olivia could reply.

They all nodded as Elliot and Olivia headed to the ambulance parked across the road before they climbed into the back and let the paramedics begin poking and prodding.

- - - - -

"This is ridiculous, you know." Olivia huffed as she sat on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge.

Elliot smirked as he sat in the chair in the corner, holding an ice-pack, wrapped in a hospital tea-towel, to his head.

"What?" Olivia asked in annoyance that she was being laughed at for being justifiably pissed off.

"Just you." Elliot's smirk morphed into a full blown grin as he held back his laughter at the scowl that danced across her features.

"I hate you." Olivia folded her arms across her chest and slouched slightly, grimacing at the effect that movement had on her arm.

Elliot out right laughed at her immaturity, "No you don't," he teased, dodging the bloody piece of gauze Olivia threw at his head.

"That's disgusting, Liv." Elliot picked the gauze up, holding the edge and threw it in the trash.

Olivia just set her jaw and turned away, "How much longer do I have to wait ti get some freaking stitches?" she grumbled.

"Not too long." Dr. Marks walked in, reading over Olivia's chart, "You were shot?"

"I wasn't shot, I was shot _at_." Olivia huffed as Dr. Marks began rummaging through some draws for a local anaesthetic.

"What's the difference – either way you have a whole in your arm?" Dr. Marks pulled the syringe and walked back over to Olivia.

"The difference is the hole isn't all the way _through_ my arm." Olivia gritted out as her arm was poked once again.

**_- - - - -_**

So, you like??

It's a little shorter than most chapters but I wanted to get it up.

It would have been up sooner but I got home from school and checked my e-mails then slept for like an hour and then got distracted some more.

Okay...too much AN-ness now.

Review!!


	8. Chapter 8

Fab reviews guys!! Keep 'em coming.

I would have had this up alot sooner but I was finding it difficult to write this chapter. It could have been that my mum insisted on iterupting me every five minutes or trying to get me to make a 'basic white pouring sauce', or that my sister insisted on sharpening a knife while I was trying to think, or it could have been that it felt like somone was drilling into myforehead for about two hours. I also have a cold.

Thanks to Nettie for helping.

Disclaimer: I aksed for SVU. My cat came home with a dead mouse. Thanks Boston.

**_- - - - -_**

As Elliot ad Olivia walked through the hospital reception she looked up through the window, noting the dramatic purple the sky had taken on as it dipped between the buildings. It had certainly changed quickly from when the sun had been streaming through the clouds.

Elliot guided Olivia with his hand near the small of her back, not quite touching. He could feel her warmth radiating through her clothes and felt her shiver as she paused slightly as the cold hit her, walking through the sliding doors and out into the breezy air.

Elliot hailed a cab and they both slid into the back seat, side by side. Elliot was careful not to bump her arm as he shifted next to her.

"How's the bullet wound?" He asked with a grin, trying to lighten her mood.

"Bullet wound-ish." Olivia replied sarcastically with her eyebrow raised.

"C'mon Liv…" Elliot sighed, wanting a real answer.

"What do you want me to say? Good?" Olivia asked, rolling her eyes then glaring at the cabbie as he glanced in his rear view mirror.

"Better than some made up crap." Elliot replied, his mood dropping to nearly the same as hers.

"Wow, Elliot. The hole in my arm is fantastic!" Olivia feigned happiness as her sarcasm seeped through.

"Whatever." Elliot grumbled.

"You're 'whatever-ing' me?" Olivia asked, both eyebrows lifting.

"What the hell is with you!? I swear those drugs have messed with your head! Where the hell are all these made up words coming from!?" Elliot asked, completely annoyed with Olivia now and her knowledge of how to push his buttons.

"Just piss of Elliot, leave me alone." Olivia huffed as she went to fold her arms, noting her sling was preventing her from doing so.

The rest of the cab ride was silent.

- - - - -

Olivia opened her door and moved out as quickly as she could, her muscles aching all over. She began walking towards the precinct and leaving Elliot with the fare. She pulled at her sling, lifting it over her head and snatching it away from her arm, letting it drop to her side as she tried to ignore the numb feeling. Olivia rolled the material into a ball and threw it into the first trash can she passed.

Elliot jogged to catch up to her and fell instep with her as the entered the building.

"You need that, Liv." Elliot hissed, not happy that she was already ignoring her own needs over the case.

"No, I don't. I'll be fine." Olivia argued as they stepped into the elevator.

"You were shot at!" Elliot exclaimed, dropping his voice immediately as the other passengers gave him odd looks, "You were shot at, you're not fine because you have a freaking gash hole thing in your arm!"

"And I can't feel confident holding my gun if my arm is in a sling so you'll deal with it!" Olivia said in a fierce whisper, "I've got your back." Her voice softened slightly.

Elliot didn't reply, instead choosing to leave their conversation behind in the elevator. They walked; their foot falls in sync as they entered the squad room, earning looks from Munch, Fin and Lake.

"You two don't look too hap-" Munch began, looking at the pair over his glasses.

"Shut up, Munch." Elliot and Olivia both growled in unison, dropping into their respectful chairs and pulling themselves forwards.

Lake grinned at Fin as he watched the exchange. Fin just shook his head, already knowing that Elliot and Olivia being that in sync was a daily occurrence.

"And your positive that they're not together?" Lake whispered across the desk.

"Trust me, I'm positive." Fin whispered back, neither taking their eyes off Elliot and Olivia.

"Cragen's not going to let you out in the field with your arm like that." Elliot hissed, leaning forward and holding a file to the side of his face to block the view of the other three gawking detectives.

"I don't care." Olivia whispered back in annoyance, taking a file and doing the same as Elliot.

"Yes you do." Elliot replied, his voice low.

"Fine I do but I'll work it out." Olivia sighed, rolling her eyes, "I'm gonna find this bastard and then I'm gonna-" Olivia stopped mid-sentence, unsure of what she was going to do.

"What? Gonna do what?" Elliot asked, leaning closer, now curious as to why Olivia had stopped more than the answer to his question.

"Ahh… umm… nothing. Don't worry about it." Olivia dropped the file back to the desk, preventing any more discussion.

It had been about 4:15pm when they got back to the precinct and now it was about 4:30pm. Olivia had been really pissed at Dr. Marks and had a go at him every time he made a comment. Her arm was still numb and she was having major trouble trying to type.

"Stupid piece of shit," She huffed, shoving the keyboard away from her.

Her fingers were tingling as the feeling began to come back but she didn't quite have control over them. They were slightly twitchy as the nerves woke up again, slowly regaining some life.

"What?" Elliot asked, poking his head up from staring at his computer screen.

"Nothing." Olivia grumbled.

"Liv, what is it?" Elliot asked, lowering his voice.

"Nothing, the computer's just being shitty." Olivia replied, lowering her voice to the same level as Elliot's.

"Oh, okay." Elliot nodded, going back to his own work.

Olivia turned to her computer and pulled the keyboard back, getting over the fact that 'backspace' was going to become her new best friend and facing the idea that she was just going to have to get over adding the equals sign ever time her finger tips decided to shun 'backspace'.

- - - - -

By 5:00pm Elliot and Olivia were exhausted. Their muscles ached and every time they moved from resting their fingers on the keyboard or shifted in their seats they each tried to suppress a groan of discomfort and pain.

The local anaesthetic had worn off now and Olivia's arm was really beginning to hurt. Her stiches were pinching her skin and pulling tight as her fingers danced across the keyboard.

She opened her draw and began rifling through it gingerly as she hunted for a bottle of Tylenol. She found two. One half full and the other had about three pills left. She decided on the half full bottle only because she didn't like the idea of taking pills that could have been there possibly since Oregon.

She took two capsules out and popped them in her mouth, taking a swig of water before swallowing.

"Your arm bothering you?" Elliot asked, looking up from his work.

"Yeah, just a little." Olivia replied, turning back to her own keyboard.

"You know, you can probably head home now, if you asked Cragen." Elliot abandoned his computer in a quest to get Olivia to rest or sleep or something.

"I don't want to go home. We need to find a link to someone who knows Austin." Olivia replied, typing furiously and clinking the mouse every couple of seconds.

"But you _need _to go home." Elliot said in exasperation.

"Elliot…" Olivia warned, "Let me do my job and I'll let you do yours."

"C'mon Liv… you need to relax. No-one is going to think anything less of you." Elliot was trying to convince her but was failing miserably.

"Elliot, just please stop, okay?" Olivia sighed shakily, "My arm is killing me, my muscles are refusing to co-operate and my headache has dropped to a dull roar. Just let me do this."

"Do you want a coffee?" Elliot asked, accepting that the only way he was going to get her out of there was by drugging her and stuffing her in a sack.

"That would be great." Olivia replied with an exhausted smile.

"Okay." Elliot stood from his desk and headed over to their make shift kitchen.

- - - - -

It was 10:30pm now and Olivia's fingers had slowed on the keyboard to two-finger-typing. She was struggling to keep her eyes open and the steadily blurring computer screen was doing nothing for her headache which had quickly focused to a migraine.

Elliot had left half an hour ago on her promise that she'd head home by midnight. She hadn't decided yet whether she'd adhere to that promise but it had gotten Elliot off her back so that was okay.

She had already raided Elliot's desk, followed by everyone else's for anything stronger than Tylenol but had failed on that mission. Instead she sat there eating half a block of Elliot's chocolate as she worked. So far she couldn't even remember what she had been reading for the past ten minutes.

Leaning forward and folding her arms on the desk, she rested her head in the cradle they created, just for a moment.

- - - - -

Elliot walked into the squad room. After calling her home phone five times and only getting her answering machine then calling her mobile three times and getting voice mail followed by calling her home phone again twice he had resorted to coming down to the precinct. He didn't bother calling her desk phone knowing for definite that she'd be there.

He walked into the darkened room, only lit by the midnight traffic on the street. At first he couldn't see Olivia but as he neared their desks he spotted her asleep at hers.

Instead of waking Olivia, he decided to let her sleep, taking off and draping his jacket over her. He grinned as he saw the wrapper from his chocolate balled up near her mouse before he sat back down at his own desk and watched for a while, letting his own eyes droop closed.

He woke two hours later and gazed across to Olivia. Her hair was swept to the side, some of it flattened by the desk. Strands had dropped across her face and were fluttering slightly every time she let out a breath. Her silhouette was almost completely still other than her signs of deep breathing; her chest rising and falling.

He was positive she was asleep until he saw her blink, "Liv?" he whispered cautiously.

Olivia didn't move her head but glanced up towards Elliot before returning her gaze to stare blankly across the room, "El?" She whispered.

"Liv, are you okay?" Elliot asked quietly.

Olivia didn't reply, instead opting for the almost silence of sirens, street horns and screeching tyres of New York at night.

Elliot stood and made his way around to Olivia's desk, crouching in front of her and cocking his head to one side. He rested his hand on her shoulder and gave a light squeeze.

"I just can't get her out of my head." Olivia whispered as a few tears fell, silently running across her nose and dropping from her cheek to the floor.

"Oh 'Livvie…" Elliot sighed, stroking her cheek gently with his knuckles and brushing way her tears with his thumb.

Olivia closed her eyes and sighed deeply as she tried to force the tears away, only having them trickle faster. She had no strength. She had officially burned out. The candle had been lit, the wax dripped and the fuse burned and now all she was left with was a mottled mess of where the fire had been.

Olivia looked up at Elliot, holding his blue gaze before murmuring the words which had swirled her mind for hours, "Her life was only a whisper of what could've been…"

Elliot pulled Olivia to him, spinning her chair to face him and kneeling as he moved to wrap his arms around her. Olivia held on and buried her face into his shoulder. The tears came but she didn't sob or shake or cry. She couldn't; her energy was zapped.

She wanted to. She desperately wanted to but all her pent up emotion lacked the air to bubble to the surface and make its presence known to all so, instead, she settled for fizzling into Elliot's embrace. She felt her self fighting the onslaught of basically passing out. It was no longer a fight against sleep because she had some control over that. Her eyes were stinging along with her lips from licking them instead of pulling out her lip balm. Her eyes were fluttering closed before she would try and open them weekly only to give up eventually. Her body was taking over her mind and it wanted to sleep.

Elliot felt Olivia relaxing against him, her breathing deep and rhythmical against his neck and cheek, her hair tickling against him with each breath she took.

Smiling to himself he murmured quietly, "Liv, you need to sleep."

Olivia mumbled something unintelligible and nuzzled his neck lightly, making Elliot shiver.

"Come on Liv; let's go up to the cribs. Its two am now, we'll be able to get a good six, maybe even seven, hours sleep." Elliot spoke quietly into her ear.

"I've got to finish this." Olivia mumbled softly, not even trying to remove her arms from around Elliot's neck.

"It can wait. You need sleep." Elliot whispered, their voices both dropping in volume.

"Mmm…" Olivia hummed softly as she tried to work her way out of the sleepy fog that had consumed her.

"Okay, let's go." Elliot sighed as he tried to stand.

Olivia made no effort to move as Elliot fumbled, trying to gain some balance.

Elliot quickly realised she was pretty much asleep, her body reigning free over any thought or action that she might have been capable of. He shifted slightly and, ignoring his screaming muscles, he dropped to scoop her up, gently hooking one arm under her knees, the other supporting her back.

Olivia began mumbling weak incoherent protests and threats as Elliot climbed the stairs, slowly and painfully making his way to the cribs.

He quietly walked along the passageway, looking down over the empty silent squad room. He reached the cribs and smoothly opened the door, pushing it with his foot before slowly moving inside, careful not to knock Olivia at all. He made his way to the back of the room, to the beds where they usually slept. He haphazardly kicked back the sheet and comforter before sitting on the edge of the bed with Olivia in his lap.

Elliot gently lowered her legs onto the bed before reaching down and unzipping both her boots, pulling them off and casting them aside at the end of the bed. Scooping her legs up again, Elliot twisted and leaned over, softly lying Olivia down on the bed.

He moved to lift her arms from his neck but once again Olivia wouldn't comply; voluntarily or involuntarily, he wasn't sure.

"Olivia, honey, you gotta let go." Elliot whispered.

Olivia shook her head slightly, subconsciously. Elliot tried to lift her arms over his head but what Olivia did next stopped him moving completely.

"Please…" She whispered; sadness and desperation clinging to every consonant and vowel.

"Okay, Liv." Elliot agreed quietly, sliding in next to her.

He awkwardly kicked off his shoes and pushed them off the bed. He moved Olivia's arms from around his neck, her grip having loosened substantially.

She rested against his chest, her hand resting on his bicep as his arm held her waist, his other arm under Olivia's head. Elliot closed his eyes and relaxed into the lumpy mattress, sighing and letting his breathing fall in time with Olivia's.

**_- - - - -_**

Okay, so let me know what you think.

I finally used the bit from my summary. Are you proud?

Just incase you're wondering; I have four cats. Two at my dad's house and two at my mum's. Sally is my cat at my dad's - Smudge is my sister's - and Boston and Bently - cute names eh? - are sort of family cats at my mum's. She believes in Karma and some guy at her work was moving and needed to give away his cats. Someone said to ask me mum so she said she'd take them. Bently is a sweetie and Boston is a really smart shithead. - I hate him.

Anyway, I think that's the longest AN that I've written for this story.

So, now that I have given you WAY too much info about some of my pets I think you should review. Why? Because. Because why? Because I said so.

Love,

Curses...


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